you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
