i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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