K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize