My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
