you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
last night I used snow as a chaser
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
