Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
