I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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