A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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