His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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