In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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