Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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