I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
