Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
