I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
