i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
