Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
