Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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