Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I think I sprained my soul last night
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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