Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize