This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
