My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
