Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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