I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
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