My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
