i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
