We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
