My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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