literally had 100 drinks last night.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
