Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
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