dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
