I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
