so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
