She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
