btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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