LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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