i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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