did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
