Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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