I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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