i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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