There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
i've created a new STD.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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