Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
