Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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