he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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