What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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