It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
