im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼‍♀️
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
