the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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