Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
