I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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