I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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