Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
