I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
