big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
