i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
