I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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