All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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