what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
