My Higher Power is John Stamos
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
