I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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