I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
