Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
