Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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