its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize