Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
