"it" just moved
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
