dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize