woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
