Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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